Before I even start elaborating on this controversial yet mind boggling topic, I was asked by my colleagues during the dinner whether I second this or against it. To be inquisitive, is to be human. Therefore, to make this a little bit interesting, I shall only reveal my stand on this topic at the very end after I have given all my thoughts about sex the rationale behind whether it should be done or not.
As human, it's only natural for us to feel attracted and even tempted to do something which we were forbidden. Take Adam and Eve as an example. Didn't they too fell into temptations? God is fair. He made us with brains and he expects us to use it wisely. So what do you get when a silly couple fell into temptation? ~Pregnancy!~ Duh. Absolutely lame huh?
To begin with, I'm not a Christian. And I know in Christianity, people don't decide themselves whether one is right or wrong but the right and wrong come from a higher standard than any individual or group of humans - they come from God. And then this question : How can sex be wrong? I read from somewhere that it may come as a surprise that the biblical view of sex is extremely positive. God thought of sex. Well, he created it, didn't he? He gave this wonderful expression of love for another. There is a whole book of the Old Testament devoted to extolling the beauty of sex and showing God's delight in what he has made pleasurable and good.
Hello people, this is year 2009 and surely God doesn't hate you enough to make you say something so ridiculous and old-fashioned like "I can't have sex with you because we are not married!" What I want to say is that, it should be enjoyed with full responsibility. After all, what is right or wrong is only a view from the society. My morals are entirely arbitrary and personal anyways. So, why should I conform to social standards? Why can't I set my own standards and live the life I want without regret?
For some young adults today, marriage is not viewed as a pre-requisite to engaging in a sexual relationship, and saying "no" to pre-marital sex is considered old-fashioned. Actually it's not a matter whether it's old fashioned or trendy, it's more than meets the eye. When someone decides to engage in a sexual relationship, he or she should know very well of the consequences or the outcome. Yes, it might be a pleasurable one or it might be a disaster but it's entirely up to the willingness of the individuals. No one should be forced or felt obligated to do it. After all, it's a very beautiful engagement and indulgence which any individual should not even feel threatened by it.
For me, I feel that in this 21st century, where arranged marriages and one woman stays chaste before her wedding is totally bollocks. I wouldn't marry a man I have not met! You have to know and try what you are about to buy! That's a life-long committment! Imagine buying a car without even knowing the specifications and test-driving. You can't return a wife or husband the next day after a bad-sex-on-the-marriage-nite! Well, this is debatable because many would have bought a car even without seeing it. That's for the rich. Many richmen have several wives/girlfriends you see... So it wouldn't apply to them.
So, in another way, the decision not to have sex should be made long before the opportunity presents itself if you plan to keep your big V. Steps can then be taken to slow down the natural progression before it gets started. It doesn't work to allow all the preliminary intimacies and then hope to stop the progression just short of intercourse. Once you have allowed to be seduced and even to do the seducing, there's no turning back. How many survived from temptations? Very few people have the willpower to do that.
For many who have been there, done that, then there's no point of even reading this. But what about post regret? Have you regretted having sex before marriage? I don't think I've heard such nonsense so far but I also do not doubt that it can happen on any individual.
And as a closure to this post, my stand is that I positively think that sex is a wonderful activity to be enjoyed with the one you love. It only makes it real when emotions are put into love making. One night stands are not my cup of tea because it's purely sex & lust. In the end, one party will be left hurt unless both have a mutual understanding before the engagement. For those who are still in the dilemma, do what your heart tells you and not what the society expects you to. Do it wisely.
Note: I do not condone sex before marriage but I am not against it either.
As human, it's only natural for us to feel attracted and even tempted to do something which we were forbidden. Take Adam and Eve as an example. Didn't they too fell into temptations? God is fair. He made us with brains and he expects us to use it wisely. So what do you get when a silly couple fell into temptation? ~Pregnancy!~ Duh. Absolutely lame huh?
To begin with, I'm not a Christian. And I know in Christianity, people don't decide themselves whether one is right or wrong but the right and wrong come from a higher standard than any individual or group of humans - they come from God. And then this question : How can sex be wrong? I read from somewhere that it may come as a surprise that the biblical view of sex is extremely positive. God thought of sex. Well, he created it, didn't he? He gave this wonderful expression of love for another. There is a whole book of the Old Testament devoted to extolling the beauty of sex and showing God's delight in what he has made pleasurable and good.
Hello people, this is year 2009 and surely God doesn't hate you enough to make you say something so ridiculous and old-fashioned like "I can't have sex with you because we are not married!" What I want to say is that, it should be enjoyed with full responsibility. After all, what is right or wrong is only a view from the society. My morals are entirely arbitrary and personal anyways. So, why should I conform to social standards? Why can't I set my own standards and live the life I want without regret?
For some young adults today, marriage is not viewed as a pre-requisite to engaging in a sexual relationship, and saying "no" to pre-marital sex is considered old-fashioned. Actually it's not a matter whether it's old fashioned or trendy, it's more than meets the eye. When someone decides to engage in a sexual relationship, he or she should know very well of the consequences or the outcome. Yes, it might be a pleasurable one or it might be a disaster but it's entirely up to the willingness of the individuals. No one should be forced or felt obligated to do it. After all, it's a very beautiful engagement and indulgence which any individual should not even feel threatened by it.
For me, I feel that in this 21st century, where arranged marriages and one woman stays chaste before her wedding is totally bollocks. I wouldn't marry a man I have not met! You have to know and try what you are about to buy! That's a life-long committment! Imagine buying a car without even knowing the specifications and test-driving. You can't return a wife or husband the next day after a bad-sex-on-the-marriage-nite! Well, this is debatable because many would have bought a car even without seeing it. That's for the rich. Many richmen have several wives/girlfriends you see... So it wouldn't apply to them.
So, in another way, the decision not to have sex should be made long before the opportunity presents itself if you plan to keep your big V. Steps can then be taken to slow down the natural progression before it gets started. It doesn't work to allow all the preliminary intimacies and then hope to stop the progression just short of intercourse. Once you have allowed to be seduced and even to do the seducing, there's no turning back. How many survived from temptations? Very few people have the willpower to do that.
For many who have been there, done that, then there's no point of even reading this. But what about post regret? Have you regretted having sex before marriage? I don't think I've heard such nonsense so far but I also do not doubt that it can happen on any individual.
And as a closure to this post, my stand is that I positively think that sex is a wonderful activity to be enjoyed with the one you love. It only makes it real when emotions are put into love making. One night stands are not my cup of tea because it's purely sex & lust. In the end, one party will be left hurt unless both have a mutual understanding before the engagement. For those who are still in the dilemma, do what your heart tells you and not what the society expects you to. Do it wisely.
Note: I do not condone sex before marriage but I am not against it either.
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