NSFW : The Temple of Venus @ Amsterdam

One of the must visit museums in Amsterdam would of course be the infamous Sex Museum - the ultimate museum for everything from genitals to the different art of love making. This museum here is located in the busiest spot of Amsterdam, at the Damrak street, just in front of the Central Station, at the main street and in the real middle of the traffic madness.







Affectionally called, Sex Museum - Venustemple (The Temple of Venus), this place combines the rich collection of artifacts with the elements of exotic to erotic, historic to hysterical and every possible sex variety existed in this very world!



Before you proceed, I have to warn you again... NOT SAFE FOR WORK

(read at your own risk)

Works of Art on display

As you enter the museum, you are greeted with the plaster figure of Venus at the entry and the full size wax figures of Mata Hari with her male partners. Then on the window display on the right, there is an exhibit of the mannequins dressed in the SM (sadomasochism) costumes. There are a few floors to explore in this what seemed to be a tiny shop along the main streets of Amsterdam.

Admiring the photos on display

The Sex Museum with more than 20 years of its existence, has hundreds of interesting pieces of art, unique objects and rare old photographs, bringing them together in an organized and interesting way.

Lot's of Photography and Paintings of Sex

In the Marquis de Sade room there were repetitive sounds of the steam machine, mixed with woman’s screams of joy coming from the speakers on the ceiling. This old fashioned multimedia approach really amused me. It was rather funny to be listening to the "oohs and aahhs" while looking at the display. My colleague and I laughed and "eewwwwed" at the same time.

The sex icon - Marilyn Monroe

We expect to see some air pumped into her skirt and to revive the "ooohh" moment but it didn't happen. I guess the air pumps were not working when we were there. What a disappointment.

Wait... this chair looks like an erect penis...

Two huge plastic phallus (an erect penis or a penis-shaped object such as a dildo) standing erect will give you an interesting photo opportunity because you are allowed to photograph throughout the whole exhibition. This is of course the best part of the deal because you get to capture some pornography as remembrance!



Perhaps the most horrifying wax figure over there is this...

It will appear and try to grab you!

There are actually lots more but I better not post them all here or else parents would start banning my blog for the obscenity and unsafe materials I posted for underaged readers. Overall, this is definitely an old museum with an interesting collection of the objects about the human sexuality such as art, photographs, artifacts and many other items – all composed in a very old-fashioned presentation.

I hope you didn't get caught while reading this at work. What a post to start with on a Monday huh?!! No more Monday blues...

Don't you just love Amsterdam?

Btw, that lollipop is not for kids. You'd know what I mean...

Opening hours:

Every day (also Monday) 10 a.m. to 11.30 p.m.

Admission: € 3-.

How to get there:

Walk from the Central Station direction Dam (2 minutes) or from the Dam square direction to the station (5 minutes).

Address:

Sex Museum – “Venustempel”

Damrak 18

1015 LH Amsterdam

Telephone: +31 020 622 83 76

Website

I LUST YOU

The most coveted words that you ever wanted to hear badly from your partner would be "I Love You". People quarrel because of these 3 words and they get upset because they didn't hear this 3 words. I think it's so overplayed that these 3 words don't mean much nowadays anymore to some. Sorry to be a spoilsport but most of the time, it's "I Lust You" in a relationship.

When the lust wears off, bye bye you go.

I've always been an opinionated person. I sometimes ponder on things that people don't usually give a thought about and therefore, when one thinks too much, things aren't going to be spontaneous. Probably the most spontaneous thing I ever did was passionately kissing someone I barely knew for hours? Most people would have been there, done that and it's no surprise that I had my fair share of I Lust You situations. Something prompted me to write this post today.

The one question that I was very interested to explore is that how would one know when it's love or lust? Personally I've gone through love, where you care about the person, you would want to see them being happy, and share the good and bad times together. I've gone through lust as well where I don't even know the person well but there was a strong attraction. It's a very thin line separating heaven and hell and so does love and lust. Where love is personified as white and lust is black, I don't deny that the gray area exists. I would want to think it did.

I went on and ask some of my guy friends on this topic and I get quite some interesting answers. The answers that I get is "you just wouldn't know" but I beg to differ because one could have at least knew whether lust or love dominates the relationship. How did the relationship started? Was it based on lust? Or was it through friendship that grew with time? I actually think that most relationships would have been started with lust or some form of lust because that's the pull that gets you going after the person. In simple terms, there must be some form of attraction.

But when will the lust wear off and will it eventually become true love?

My friend gave me this interesting answer - when the lust wears off, it'll be love if both wanted to be together and see themselves sharing and caring for each other. I think it's possible and I wouldn't doubt that it happens in most relationships that is built on lust. However, I have this interesting theory that you shall never fall in love with the person you lust or the person who lusts for you. Why you ask me? So that there will be no expectations and no one gets hurt. So no arguments and no broken hearts. The problem about love is that it has to be a two-way-traffic where one is willing to love and receive love. But with lust, it works well with any individual as long as there is a feeling of wanting something is there.

Lust is defined as a craving for sexual intimacy, sometimes to the point of assuming a self-indulgent character. It is also a desire for the flesh of another. Have you ever had that type of feeling where you wanted to be with that person so badly but you wouldn't see yourself having a long-term relationship with? The only way to win in a lust relationship is to not put any feeling into it.

But in the modern context, I could also lust for a Bugatti, a bottle of Domaine la Romanee Conti and a tall dark and handsome man but that doesn't mean I want to get into their pants. I think lust can be a wonderful feeling to have because it keeps you going and trying to achieve what you want. However, the negative side of lust could turn into a situation where the obsession is without possession which makes it very demotivating and depressing. My shortest lust was 3 days and the longest would probably be months. It's a very funny feeling because it makes one chase after the desire and once one attained it, it's no longer worth chasing again. That's lust for me.

So the next time someone says "I want to hear those 3 words", it could be I LUST YOU. So becareful what you're in for and find out whether it's going to be a 3-days-affair or somewhere between decades and eternity. I had enough of lusts. Where is the love?!!

[Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any guilt and breakups that resulted from reading this blog post. And I would be glad if the Parents Censorship Board do not censor my postings.]

Can you CHEAT and still love the person?

So, it's been quite sometime since did a Friday post. Well, as the title suggests, do you think it is possible to love a person and at the same time cheat on him/her?

Before I even begin with my lengthy explanation, I had a really good time yesterday at the food review with Huai Bin and the other food bloggers whom I have been reading their blog but have yet to meet them in person like Bangsar Babe and Cumi&Ciki. Will post about this later.

Anyways, back to the topic. Do you think it is possible for you to love your gf/wife but at the same time cheating on her? Let's define "cheating". To me, it can be either you're seeing another person or you're sleeping with another person. There's also a short term and long term cheating classification where a short term might be you cheating once or twice and long term would be you cheating with another person for a long time. To me, cheating a person long term means that you have already lost interest in her, so there's no love anymore. Thus, I'll prefer to discuss on the short term cheating scenario today.

In my opinion, love and sex can be entirely two different things. You might have sex with a person whom you do not love and thus cheating on the person you love. This is a pure physical attraction vs emotional attachment. It's a "chemical" process in us that when we see something attractive, our hormones tell us to go for it. And therefore, even if you're in love with a person, deep inside you, there's this little voice that encourages you to do something that you shouldn't. It has become a attraction vs affection. But having said that, you still love your partner. So, you might wonder, what's wrong with "cheating" if you still love your partner, right?

I will elaborate on this from different views:

Legally

It's entire legal to cheat on love. Maybe it's easier on your gf but not wife. Because the end result is that if you cheat on your wife and you get caught, a divorce follows and she will squeeze a big helluva amount of money from your bank account. So, you might not want to do that if you know that you'll be caught. I'm sure rich men/most men know better.

Morally

Morally, it's always wrong to cheat. Our society does not condone cheating and it's definitely not accepted in our ways of life because we cared too much what the society thinks of us! It's also in the common understanding that if you love someone, you do not want to hurt him/her. If you cheat on your partner, it automatically means you don't love her. That's what majority of the people thinks anyway.

Personally

This is entirely my own opinion. Like I said, love and sex is two different entities. I might be physically attracted to someone but that doesn't mean I love him. Love is a big word. You do not say you love a person if you're not emotionally and physically attached to him/her. Personally, I think people cheat because they find the thrills in cheating. It's fun if you don't get caught! If you know that you'll be caught doing this, then what's the point of cheating? It's just like if you love Cadbury chocolates so much and one day, someone offered you an Amedei and tells you that this is the best chocolate in the world, would you want to try it? You might take a bite and then after that you go back to eating Cadbury and life goes on. But of course, you can always switch to Amedei and dump Cadbury.

I am not saying that relationship is like food where we can eat anything and have no guilt but what I am trying to say is that sometimes "cheating" keeps the relationship sane. After being with a person for so many years, decades or perhaps centuries.... you might need a breathe of fresh air. But I believe if you have to cheat, cheat with wisdom and compassion. Don't forget the love that you have with your partner, treasure them and don't hurt their feelings.

So, personally, to be legally & morally correct and yet be happily attached in a relationship : My advice to you who cheats, getting caught with your pants down is the last thing you would ever want it to happen!

Ok, what do you think?

The Ugly Truth for both men & women...

I've recently watched the movie "The Ugly Truth" and I find it rather entertaining. While it provides some of the basic knowledge and self-realisation to some women out there, I can't help but feel that this is one of those movie that spoils all the fun. You see, the art of seduction and also ways to get the man you want is supposed to be "less" known so that the same tactics are not over-utilised. Movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" and "The Ugly Truth" provided some of the mistakes that men/women make in relationships and now both men/women whom have watched it will know!

Therefore, it spoils the fun for those girls out there whom have been using those tactics to getting the men they want. Now, we have to move on to a totally different level as men are getting smarter and women are getting better!

However, I can't help but feel that the several points highlighted in the movie are actually very general and it's stereotyping. Not all men are the same although most men still think with their dickheads rather than the brain situated up north. They think about sex all the time while women tend to be more complicated when face with the same situation. It's like when a man sees an attractive woman, "I'm so gonna bed her" while a woman would think "Is he the one I want to marry or whether he likes kids?!!" While it may not be entirely true for all, generally it is.

There are also tonnes of "How to" and "Ways to" teaching girls/guys to get whoever they want but some are really crap and funny. I think ways like "displaying cleavage, legs, tossing hair, biting lips and sucking fingers (or other stuffs)" are funny but I don't deny that those action works (for most men). But have the writer thought about those whom are "inadequate" at the bosom department or even have short legs?!!

That's why I have to highlight that there's this
INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION that goes beyond
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

Most men like smart women (not nerds) and it goes much deeper, and is the kind of attraction that will make a man literally PINE AWAY for you when you're not around. Intelligence and the right intellectual skills attract men in a way that engages them in their mind and heart. It entices him to want a deeper level of involvement and intimacy with you. I always find men whom are equipped with intellectual intelligence better than some good looking men with six packs whom can't talk. And I believe an intellectual intercourse is just as satisfying as a sexual intercourse. Only much safer and could be conveniently done at any restaurants.

For Guys: I don't mean talking about your business or work achievements the whole night! How boring!

For Ladies: I don't mean talking on and on about your shopping adventures or who's humping who.

Generally, I think there should be a balance of topics from serious stuffs like politics (always a good conversation to start with), and something entertaining like interests or hobbies. While you may think talking is easy, try talking the whole night long! You might at some point in time find that you're lost for words. That's the time to adjourn to "your place or mine?!!" hehe... just kidding. If you're lost for words and he had nothing to say or talk about, and waits for you to ask questions, just dump him and move on la. He's just simply not intellectually attractive enough. That's the ugly truth!

In conclusion, while you can toss hair and display cleavage to get the guy you wanted, some other ladies can also toss more hair and display more cleavage to get your man. If your man falls for you on simple reasons like that, he can also fall for others on the same reasons.

That, my friends, is the UGLY TRUTH for today. Cheers.


(That should be more to this topic but I'm kinda lazy to write everything in one post). You can also read these past posts which is kinda related to this topic.
1. Be a Leggy Beauty
2. How do I wanna be Picked-Up Guide

The art of smooching...

Arrgh... I've been sick for almost a week now and I'm glad I've fully recovered! The doctor did not suspect that I had the H1N1 Influenza A but I somehow rather felt that I had it. I've been having fever for a few days combined with sore throat, cough and then later a cold. I went to two doctors and both think that I'm down with the normal flu. I have been sleeping most of the time at home trying to take a good rest and my dad forced my sisters to sleep in another room to avoid catching the flu.

Finally, I'm fine... The temperature checks for these few days have been normal and my cold is gone. I've suffered for a week without dinners and alcohol but I was glad at the same time because I've lost some weight due to eating less!

So it's Friday again and I'm going to talk about sex kisses. I've gone for 1 week without kissing you know and it feels kinda terrible not being able to get close to anyone! So now I can empathise with those who are down with the flu and can't get any kisses or hugs from their love ones. Hmm.. how do I start with this kissing topic? This is strictly for ladies. If you're a guy and you're reading this, shame on you!

Ooh lala... that's a sexy sight.

Let's just start with, how do you kiss a guy for the very first time. I'm not talking about your first kiss but the first kiss to a new guy everytime(it can be your fourth or fifth). How do you create the right moment to kiss a guy? Well, you're damn bloody lucky if you have always been kissed first by the opposite sex. So if you always have been the receiver, have you ever wondered how the other partner initiated the kiss? This is kinda intriguing because I've always thought that it's better for a guy to initiate things and as girls, the weaker fairer sex, we should wait and see.

Well, I can tell you it's WRONG. We should not sit and wait but we should initiate the first move if we are interested. This is the 21st century my dear fellow girlfriends and to make things right, we will show the guys what we want and when we want it. We do not sit at home and wait for you to come and smooch us because if we like you, we'll walk straight to you and blow you away with a deep passionate kiss you'll never forget. Pheww....

So, how to create that moment? When do we know when to plant that kiss? Surely I wouldn't want to risk missing his face when I'm about to kiss him. That would sent me into the embarrassment hell. If you're going to buy a 60-page book telling you how and when to kiss, you might as well forgo the chances of kissing a guy first. The right moment to do exactly just that is when you're confident with yourself and that you think that's the right moment. Follow your heart and your instincts. Women always have a better sixth sense, don't we?

I've spent too much time waiting for a guy to come and swept me off my feet and so I thought, why don't I sweep the guy I like off his feet? It just happened that I'm lucky for every guy that I wanted to kiss, they will kiss me back. It'll be kinda embarrassing right if you kissed an unwilling guy huh? I can totally understand that. So to avoid embarrassment 101, I have devised a plan. Don't kiss the guy you like on a first date. Try out this simple step:

1. On the first date, shakes his hand when you meet him. If everything is good, and you feel attracted to him at the end of the date, give him a hug and a light peck on both cheeks and call it a night. This is called testing the waters.

2. If you called him for a second date and he agrees, give him the same peck when you meet him and when you leave. Nothing more than just a peck.

3. And so, if the third date materialized, you can find the right moment to plant your passionate kiss at the end of the date.

It might reduce the feeling of awkwardness and embarrassment if it does fail. For me, if he's the right target, I might even do it on the second date! I have no qualms walking up to a guy and plant kisses on his cheeks but if I were to do a passionate kiss, I better like that guy or no way I'm going to do it. That's call principles. Starting with a hug is always the easiest. Then with your hands, rub his back, move you head back and reach for his lips! There, and you're done! Easy right? So if he kisses back, congratulations and you may continue kissing.

So far, I've successfully pull it off and it works if you put a little effort in getting to know the other partner before you plan to blow him away (literally of course)! If your partner is a shy person, you might have to work harder. But seriously, it feels good when the person you kiss kisses you back. Like I said, it's good to try but don't misuse them. A kiss is not just a kiss.

Have a great weekend peeps. I'm going on a short trip where the 3S (Sea, Sun & Sex Surf) dominates this weekend.

Is having more than 1 lover acceptable?

-FOR ILLUSTRATION PURPOSES-

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Now before you want to jump on me and start questioning me about my moral values, let me justify why I think it's perfectly acceptable and under what circumstances.

If you don't tell the other lover that you have another partner, then it's cheating. You see, there's a difference between a "polygyny" and "polyamory". A polygyny (many+women) means a man having more than one wife at a time and this only applies to man. Polyamory (many+love) is a romantic relationship involving more than 2 people. And this need not necessary be man whom has 2 lovers because it can be vice versa.



To simply illustrate this, it's like a man having 2 love partners and the 2 partners knew of each others existence and they have given their consent. And then this partner can also be in another relationship with another man whom his partner has also given consent. In this case, even a woman can have two boyfriends at a time provided both the boyfriends have given consent. The magic word here is CONSENT. A polyamorous relationship need not be bisexual or to fulfill one's sexual needs. It's a real relationship involving understanding, commitment and love.

I know having 2 partners or even 3 at a time is nothing new. There are so many men or women out there having multiple dates or spouse but what makes polyamorist better than the polygamist is that they are honest about the relationship. If one hides another partner/relationship, it's called CHEATING! While this is not easy for many of us to digest, they are people whom are involved in such relationships. And they managed to do that because of a strong foundation from the primary relationship before moving on to a secondary relationship.

Poly schmolly, I think it's fun to be a polyamorist. It's not easy. There are rules governing this type of relationships. You can just tell your partner, "I would like shag the other person over there and if you don't like it, you can disappear." It's not like this.

Polyamory isn't free love. All these different flavors of polyamory have their own dynamic, but ultimately, they are all about building relationships, not about sex. The rules of having more than one relationship must be established by the partners and a breach of it would be serious matter - as serious as cheating. Everyone involved in the relationship can not cheat on each other and this is the rule.

I do believe that they are people out there whom are capable of loving more than one person and if they are honest about it, I don't see why this ideology cannot be accepted. While we were taught from young to be loyal to one partner, I cannot help but realise that's the reason why we cheat. If we were taught to be honest and open about the relationship, then wouldn't the relationship be built on trust?

So, before you jump on the bandwagon and declare to your partner that you are practicing polyamory, think of the consequences. Not everyone can accept it. And if your partner can't, that means a no for you too. The foundation of every relationship is trust and honesty which I think I'm lack off.

In support of polyamory anyone?

Cohabitation: A preparation or an alternative to marriage?

I did some colouring myself!

As a young kid (I'm not exactly very old yet), I always question the way of life. Why do we have to conform to the laws of the society and why the stigma of living together before marriage (in other words, cohabiting) exists? In the modern context, cohabiting before marriage is no longer an eye-raising subject. In fact, it has become so common, more common than news of me partying 3 nights in a row.

When the couple chooses to live together in an emotionally or sexually intimate relationship, they are actually staying together like a married couple. Many would view this as a test-marriage or even a preparation towards marriage. But some resorted to cohabitation as an alternative to marriage because either they are avoiding marriage, gay or they are in a polygamy or polyamory (I shall deal with the polyamorist next time) relationships.

Is it not our say whether cohabitation is right or wrong because every situation or needs is different. I might, for example agree with cohabitation as the preparation of marriage. Let's just say that I've heard too many stories about couples getting into a divorce less than a year of marriage. And therefore, I have to make sure that the man that I want to live with the rest of my life is not some freak. When cohabiting, you'll discover many traits or habits that you've never seen in 5 years of courtship! A compliment must go to the partner whom managed to camouflage it so well....

Cohabitation is no longer about sex 0r no sex before marriage. It's about living together, trying to tolerate, share and love each other. A cohabitation might lead to marriage or it might lead to a breakup. I would say it's best to breakup during cohabitation than to get a divorce after marriage. Don't you think so? But study tends to show that cohabitation is bad for couples than jumping into marriage straightaway because couples tend to have lower tolerance levels, higher chances of cheating and less commitment from both sides since they are not legally married!

Actually there's more to consider when cohabiting then his bad hygiene habits like wearing the same underwear for two consecutive days or whether he puts the toilet seat down. Those are not going to be a major problem of living together for the rest of your lives. But what actually does need to be considered is his/her personality, attitudes and commitment. Bad attitudes can be hidden when dating or living together for a few days but not when it comes to everyday for months! It will definitely show. So this is a good chance to see for yourself the other half's true colours.

I don't know but I would surely try cohabiting before signing the documents. Getting a divorce is not easy and it involves so many parties, documents and time! Cohabitation breakup is easy - either one party just pack your bags and leave. And less monies for the lawyers! Muahaha....

(I love writing a good post for ponder on Fridays. It's my best day of the week.)

Sex or No Sex before Marriage?

Before I even start elaborating on this controversial yet mind boggling topic, I was asked by my colleagues during the dinner whether I second this or against it. To be inquisitive, is to be human. Therefore, to make this a little bit interesting, I shall only reveal my stand on this topic at the very end after I have given all my thoughts about sex the rationale behind whether it should be done or not.

As human, it's only natural for us to feel attracted and even tempted to do something which we were forbidden. Take Adam and Eve as an example. Didn't they too fell into temptations? God is fair. He made us with brains and he expects us to use it wisely. So what do you get when a silly couple fell into temptation? ~Pregnancy!~ Duh. Absolutely lame huh?

To begin with, I'm not a Christian. And I know in Christianity, people don't decide themselves whether one is right or wrong but the right and wrong come from a higher standard than any individual or group of humans - they come from God. And then this question : How can sex be wrong? I read from somewhere that it may come as a surprise that the biblical view of sex is extremely positive. God thought of sex. Well, he created it, didn't he? He gave this wonderful expression of love for another. There is a whole book of the Old Testament devoted to extolling the beauty of sex and showing God's delight in what he has made pleasurable and good.

Hello people, this is year 2009 and surely God doesn't hate you enough to make you say something so ridiculous and old-fashioned like "I can't have sex with you because we are not married!" What I want to say is that, it should be enjoyed with full responsibility. After all, what is right or wrong is only a view from the society. My morals are entirely arbitrary and personal anyways. So, why should I conform to social standards? Why can't I set my own standards and live the life I want without regret?

For some young adults today, marriage is not viewed as a pre-requisite to engaging in a sexual relationship, and saying "no" to pre-marital sex is considered old-fashioned. Actually it's not a matter whether it's old fashioned or trendy, it's more than meets the eye. When someone decides to engage in a sexual relationship, he or she should know very well of the consequences or the outcome. Yes, it might be a pleasurable one or it might be a disaster but it's entirely up to the willingness of the individuals. No one should be forced or felt obligated to do it. After all, it's a very beautiful engagement and indulgence which any individual should not even feel threatened by it.

For me, I feel that in this 21st century, where arranged marriages and one woman stays chaste before her wedding is totally bollocks. I wouldn't marry a man I have not met! You have to know and try what you are about to buy! That's a life-long committment! Imagine buying a car without even knowing the specifications and test-driving. You can't return a wife or husband the next day after a bad-sex-on-the-marriage-nite! Well, this is debatable because many would have bought a car even without seeing it. That's for the rich. Many richmen have several wives/girlfriends you see... So it wouldn't apply to them.

So, in another way, the decision not to have sex should be made long before the opportunity presents itself if you plan to keep your big V. Steps can then be taken to slow down the natural progression before it gets started. It doesn't work to allow all the preliminary intimacies and then hope to stop the progression just short of intercourse. Once you have allowed to be seduced and even to do the seducing, there's no turning back. How many survived from temptations? Very few people have the willpower to do that.

For many who have been there, done that, then there's no point of even reading this. But what about post regret? Have you regretted having sex before marriage? I don't think I've heard such nonsense so far but I also do not doubt that it can happen on any individual.

And as a closure to this post, my stand is that I positively think that sex is a wonderful activity to be enjoyed with the one you love. It only makes it real when emotions are put into love making. One night stands are not my cup of tea because it's purely sex & lust. In the end, one party will be left hurt unless both have a mutual understanding before the engagement. For those who are still in the dilemma, do what your heart tells you and not what the society expects you to. Do it wisely.

Note: I do not condone sex before marriage but I am not against it either.