Love Food, Hate Waste!

If you walk around and observe, try and notice how much food is being thrown away by everyone, every day. During lunch, just observe how many people had leftovers on their plate. I'm not talking about bones or spring onion bits, but the leftover rice and noodles. And if anyone were to mention food wastage, the first thing to spring to mind would be the overladen leftovers at the buffet lines.

Last year figures suggest food waste accounts for 45% to 50% of the country's household and commercial waste, known as Municipal Solid Waste (MSW). It is estimated that Peninsular Malaysia will generate approximately five million tonnes of food waste in the year 2020. This would be enough to fill nearly 15 Petronas Towers. We, Malaysians are really wasteful and ungrateful towards the abundance of resources and food supply.

I was awaken by one of the articles I read about food wastage. Take Chinese (might not be from our country) for example - the rich would often give others a treat, be it business or pleasure and it's deemed right only if the whole table is laden with food. Insufficient food makes the host look bad. And if there is a surplus of food after dinner, it's inappropriate to "tapau" (pack) the leftovers. We're lucky that in our country, the act of "tapau-ing" is still considered acceptable. If not for the "tapau" culture, we would have even generated MORE food wastage.

It looks like the urbanites waste more food than those of the rural areas. A study shows that "As people become more affluent, they can afford to buy more. But with both the husband and wife working in most households, they become so busy that food bought isn't consumed on time." But I say, it has something to do with the way that we were brought up. Parents who do not teach their children not to waste food are the culprits in bringing up a generation who contributes to more food wastage. Take for example, at buffet lines, children are allowed to take whatever they want on the plate and if they failed to finish them, the parents say it's all right.





This is not right at all! I can still recall when I was a kid, I used to have leftover rice on my plate and my Dad would give me a long lecture. He has the same lines for me everytime - "people in Africa has nothing to eat and you are wasting food!" I grew up with that very line and I would never want to leave a grain of rice uneaten. Having said that, at some point of time we are all guilty to have wasted some food somewhere, someway. I am guilty for buying snacks which I never finished consuming until they are expired and then they end up in the rubbish bin.

After all these years, I have been very careful not to waste food at buffets. The buffet-culture in Malaysia is really popular as you can see so many of these outlets mushrooming especially in the cities and this is worrying. Very often, people would take more than what they can consume and then the rest, as you've guessed, it ends up in the bin. I therefore welcome the move to fine patrons that waste food. If there's no pain, there's no lesson learnt. And only through this way, parents would warn their children to only take what they can consume.

You might think "I can afford to pay and I have the right to waste the food" but in reality - Yes, the money belongs to you but the resources belongs to the society. There are many out there who are short of resources and you have no right to waste them. And in order to bring the food prices down, we must not create unnecessary demand. We really need to reflect on this. In conclusion, I hope that we can all do something for ourselves, our future, and our country by just not wasting food.


Now go read this book:

Waste: Uncovering the Global Food Scandal by Tristram Stuart

An extremely thought-provoking, passionate study which could make even the biggest skeptic think twice before putting the leftovers in the bin. (Scotland on Sunday)

To help or not to help?

I had a pretty interesting conversation with a Malay taxi driver from the airport back to my house. It all started with the weather and then along the way, there were motorcyclist weaving in and out of the traffic on the highway and it was a rainy day. So I told him that these motorcyclists are just wasting their life away. There's a lane dedicated to motorbikes and instead of using that lane, they prefer to fight for space with the four-wheeled automobiles on the highway. They must have thought that they have 9 lives!

Then, he told me that sometimes he sees motorcyclists involved in an accident or some of them fell down from the motorcycles but he refused to help. According to him, he had experiences where he had to be witness to the accidents and had been interrogated by the police and it caused him a lot of inconveniences. Sometimes he even got accused for causing the accident because he tried to help.

From this simple conversation, I can see why people nowadays are getting less and less willing to help the others in situations like this. There's No. 1 - Inconvenience and No.2 - Unkindness but in our country, I can always think of the 3rd reason. There are many situations like these that are made up by some unscrupulous people out there trying to rob you of your belongings or car when you tried to stop and help. In the end, the kind people who wanted to help became the victim. What has become of our country?



Our country too would eventually would have a news like the 2 year old toddler whom was knocked down twice and 18 passerby whom didn't want to help until an old woman whom was collecting rubbish helped her (story here).

We too, have become such a cold-blooded nation all because we don't want to inconvenient ourselves and not to fall prey to the tricks of this robbers. I do not blame the people, but the authorities whom are supposed to safeguard the citizens and to ensure the crimes are at bay.

The taxi driver made a very funny comment - "we should allow the citizens to beat these robbers to death whom cause hurt and injury to others while trying to steal just like some countries." Wow, I was surprised that he made such a strong comment. Although it's uncivilised, I think he made some sense because I understand what he's trying ti say. People are not afraid of the light sentences that are enforced. Then I told him, the more reason why we should support PAS's Hudud laws to be implemented in the country. Who would want to loose their hands when caught stealing? An eye for an eye would serve justice to all the hideous crime happening in our country. If we were to depend on our police force, I think I'll have to loose a few more handbags!

A sharp mind in the morning?

I don't think so....

Generally, I think we are quite lazy in the morning and so are our minds. Imagine, one morning, a particular Monday morning and you walked into the office lift to find this scenario on your lift buttons. Your office is on 6th floor and....

There's no 6th floor on the lift buttons except the "3+3". What would you do? Of course press the 3+3 lah! Since I've been going to the same office for the past 1 and a half years, I could even press the right lift buttons with eyes closed or even if the buttons were not numbered.

Apparently, a company is promoting a product, some sort like an advertisement in the lift and it encourages one to have a sharper mind and thus the creative move to make pressing the lift buttons a little challenging. It created quite a buzz as my colleagues were all talking about it. I felt that it was quite creative despite the "lameness".

To my disbelieve, the stickers promoting the product and the mathematical challenge on the lift buttons were removed by noon. It could be due to 2 reasons:

1. The company is advertising illegally
2. The management received too many complaints

My guess would be the 2nd reason. I think there are too many people whom are either confused or they are too lazy to think. It's true that they say Malaysians are slow to accept new ideas and sometimes refuse to try new things. How are we going to progress if we can't even accept such a creative ad concept? Maybe it was those post/courier guys whom were confused and couldn't do the maths.

That's why la they need the advertised supplement to make the mind sharper! Isn't that the reason why the advertisement was there in the first place? Hahaha... a good laugh for a Monday morning.

The 3 P's of business...

Before I joined this company that I am working for now, it has never dawned upon me the importance of certain policies and actions of a company to ensure the well being of the people and planet. Maybe I have studied about "sustainability" during one of those business classes in college but I have never put it into use. In order for a company to sustain in the long term, it should encompass these 3 "Ps" which are PROFIT, PEOPLE and PLANET.

The company is responsible to make a PROFIT for its shareholders, take good care of its PEOPLE or employees and lastly it should be able to take in consideration of taking care of the PLANET that we are staying in! Why I am bringing this up today is due to a piece of news that I read after my Dad replied a forwarded mail I sent him.

I guess many of you did receive this email about a Japanese boy in Fukushima who sacrifices his part of the food ration for the those who looks more hungry than himself. He was all alone and shivering due to lacked of clothing and he lost his whole family to the earthquake and Tsunami. It was a really moving incident. This little Japanese boy who taught an adult like me a lesson on how to behave like a human being. This is a society that can produce a 9-year-old who understands the concept of sacrifice for the greater good must be a great society, a great people.

But the story didn't end. Today, TEPCO (Tokyo Electric Co), operator of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant started to discharge contaminated water into the Pacific Ocean, to speed up efforts to tackle the nuclear crisis. (Article here) Huh?!!

Do you have any idea what this translates to?

The level of radioactive substances in the water is up to 500 times the legal limit permitted for release in the environment. TEPCO has revealed that radioactive iodine-131 more than 10,000 times the legal concentration limit was detected in the water found in the pit. A total of 15,000 tons of water containing radioactive materials was set to be released, including contaminated groundwater from near No. 5 and No. 6 reactors.

Leaking radioactive contaminated water drain through crack of a maintenance pit, right, into the sea, near the Unit 2 reactor of Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear power plant.

And now these radioactive materials will to be diluted in the sea. Anyone knows how the marine environment will be affected by the impact of highly radioactive water? What will happen to the waters, the fish, the sea life and neighbouring countries in months and years to come? What will happen to us staying in Malaysia?

The point is TEPCO should have leased a large tanker ship (say, an oil tanker that is immediately available) and pumped the dirty water into the ship and keep it there while their engineers proceed with the next move which is to entomb the damaged reactor with strong concrete forever to contain the leak (just like the Russia's Chernobyl).



If this incident happened in the US, do you think the company can discharge the dirty water into the sea? Remember the BP oil spill disaster and the effects of the environmental damage? EVERY inch of the oil has to be removed and it cost BP a whooping $19billion.

We can all wallow in pity and touched by the culture that they embrace but what about responsibility to other people, other countries and the planet? What I want to say is that while we look up to the culture and society of this country but what its companies are doing is not exactly the sacrifice for the greater good. Is TEPCO acting selfishly or merely survival-biased?

And the million dollar question is - Can Malaysia handle a nuclear crisis like this?

Quetiquette

Being in line or in a queue is ubiquitous in our daily lives unless you're the king. But then again, there will be some point in one's life that one has to be in a queue no matter how. I don't know about you but I find myself queuing up quite a lot. It could be at the airport, supermarkets, restaurants and also at the washroom. Usually I would want to avoid queues especially those at the cinemas, restaurants and check-in counters and thus I would prefer to buy tickets online in advance, make a reservation or web check-in for my travels.

Sometimes, it wasn't the time wasted that is unbearable but it is the people that makes up the queue or I would like to call it the "queue etiquette". Don't you find it irritating when someone cuts the line or the constant appearance of the "scuze-mees" crowd whom rejoins the people in front of the queue if you happen to line up for a concert admittance or a ride at the theme park? Oh come on, can't you guys just line up together as a group? Emergency situations like going to the loo is acceptable but sometimes we just knew that these people are just lazy to line up and they get their friends to "chup" (a local word for the meaning of "secure") a place for them. This sometimes can irritate me when it comes to queuing up at the loo.

Then there is this dilemma question. I think most of us have done it before at one point of time either naturally or being forced into doing it. One day, I was shopping with my mom at a bakery. There were 2 queues at the cashier and she lined up at the 1st queue and I thought the 2nd queue would be quicker so I told her why not go to the 2nd one. She then asked me to queue at the 2nd cashier counter to see whom will be attended to earlier. And so I went to the 2nd queue. It seemed that mine was the faster one and then when it was my turn to be attended, she walked to my queue and paid for the items.

There may be nothing wrong with this scene but I was deliberating about the whole process after that. Parents constantly ask their children to stand in different queues to save queue time but is this really acceptable? Did any of these situations irked others in the queue? I wondered for quite some time and I thought it would be good to write this down so that you guys could respond to this dilemma. Is this quetiquette of getting others to queue up at different queues at one time acceptable?

Well, I felt a little guilty and embarrassed for doing it but should I really be or am I the only one whom had experienced this before?

Change is inevitable...

As time passes, I realised that things as well as human beings do change. Nothing is certain and not even your favourite chocolate muffin with melt in the mouth chocolate chips is permanent. It just cannot be done in the same consistency and quality you fell in love with at first bite and the muffin will never have the same amount of chocolate chips you have during the previous visit (that is if you bother to count them).

As superficial as it may seem, the person you fell in love with years ago may probably now be out of mind and out of sight today, well at least from my real experience. If you ask me, I would never have thought that this day would come but it sure did.

Just as when you think that there is a glimmer of hope that some things would never change, and that’s when you’re taken by surprise. That includes purchasing a bottle of your favourite Bovril because of the beef extract except that now it doesn’t have any beef in it. What if one day, someone told you that Bovril's makers have taken the beef out of the world's most famous beef drink?

Where have the beef gone?

The truth to be told is that the Bovril that you’re consuming now is not the same beef extract that you had in your porridge or toast years ago. The Bovril with the red signature bottle cap that you are buying today is actually made of yeast extract. Did you realise that?

It all started when there was a spread of Mad Cow disease in Britain. The prions (infectious agent composed of protein in a misfolded form) can't be destroyed even by exposing to high heat through cooking or boiling and thus the British Bovril is banned in other countries. And so Bovril has been vegetable based since 2004. Therefore, Bovril has turned out to be a Marmite!

When they switched to the new formula, Unilever says that extensive taste tests were conducted before they introduced it - 50% of people preferred the taste of the meat-free version, with 10% being unable to tell the difference. That means that 40% can tell the difference. I must admit that initially I didn't taste the difference, probably I'm not eating it often enough but recently I found the precious bottle of BEEF Bovril in Paris and I bought it.

It has to be the best purchase from Paris!

I tasted the two bottles side by side - 1 yeast-extract version and the other 1 a beef version. It does taste different. The one with beef has a slightly more salty and a strong robust taste of beef. I bought 3 bottles of this and I do hope I will not run out of it before I find where else I could get the beef version.

But then, in 2006, Unilever announced that the beef be put back into Bovril. However, the beef version is not available in Malaysia due to the strict restrictions by the government on non-halal meat products, and Malaysia is one of the biggest consumers of Bovril. Initially I bought Bovril because of the beef extract but knowing that it's an yeast-extract now, it doesn't matter if it's Marmite or Bovril. Afterall, there's no distinction between the two except for the branding that one favours. In this case, I think Marmite has won the battle.

So are you a Bovril or Marmite fan?

The lady who smokes a cigar....

A lady in a neck plunging evening gown with perfectly coiffed hair puffs away with a group of men at the party. As she held on her newly lit R&J Churchill, she exclaimed, "I actually like a bigger ring gauge because you get a more robust and full-bodied flavour". At this moment, 10 more men picked their tongues up off the floor. Don't you think the image of a lady holding a long, sleek, cylindrical object in her mouth, prompts even the most sophisticated men to be reduced to drooling newborns in suits?

Some men would stare in amazement and some would think it's distasteful. Whatever it is, the world is changing. What used to be an alpha male enjoyment could now be appealing to the supposedly weaker sex. I really don't think there's any thing wrong with women enjoying the same pleasure that a cigar gives to a man.

Now, tell me what you think when you see a lady lits up her cigar?

Everytime I lit a cigar, I held my head high. Taking a deep puff, I smiled, knowing that the next 45 minutes would be a pure pleasure. The aroma of the cigar drifts through the room, attracting the even non cigar smoker to give me a minute of his time. Being a lady cigar smoker is not as easy as just picking up a stick and start puffing. One needs to be prepared with confidence that will deal with the silly questions, comments, criticisms, cat calls, wolf-whistles and whole lot of plethora of come-ons that she will attract, as she draws on her smoke.

It's funny I never wanted to smoke a cigarette but I was attracted by the aroma and the flavours that I draw from a cigar. What started as an experiment years ago grew into a passion. I love the puff and I'm never afraid to befriend the brothers of the leaf (BOTL) too everywhere I go. Wine, whisky and cigar tastings, are predominantly frequented by men and I don't think they exclude women but it has been my observation that rarely more than a handful of women are in attendance, and every man in the room is keenly aware of the presence of those few smart, and the ones the exudes an air of confidence.

While at the party, I do surprise a few men when they see me taking out a cigar from my clutch, followed by a puncher and then my very own cigar lighter. That's what I have in my bag as opposed to the usual lipstick, eyeliner, blush and other make up items that a typical lady would be carrying around.

However, at the party, be prepared to be scrutinized. On the other hand, you might also be ooh ahhed upon, flirted with, wined and dined, if not worshipped, by men. They will compliment you, show you respect, and be offered cigars. Perhaps the only challenge is to identify whom among them is still an eligible bachelor. The chances are quite low as the majority of men whom enjoys a cigar is definitely out of my league in terms of age and availability. Haha... no wonder I am still single because I am mixing in the wrong crowd!

Having said all these, don't be afraid to try something (drugs a no no for me). In the 21st century, it's time that women be bold, audacious, confident without being feeling restrictive to prior ideas or conformity to the standards of society set in the medieval times. We should not be afraid to break rules and take risks. But if you want to love puffing a cigar, be ready to fly in the face of the criticism of family and friends.

I would hope to see the numbers of women smoking cigars grow like the perfect ash on a well lit cigar. There's nothing more pleasurable than to be able to enjoy something without worrying what others might think of you. Puff sensuously, puff deeply.

Forget the world and experience the moment.

Is Chivalry dead?

A princess is trapped in a tower by her evil stepmother. She cries for help by the window sill day and night. Then, one day, a handsome prince shining on a white horse rode to the tower where she was trapped and gallantly fought all the evil guards. He climbed up the tower, broke open the heavy steel locks, carried her in his arms and rescued her out of the evil place. He helped her onto the horse and whisked her away into the sunset.

Now, this is a fairytale. It was supposed to be like this once upon a time....

This is now...

But today, you might find the princess getting onto the horse herself, or probably fighting off the evil guards herself. Is chivalry dead or it's the rise of feminism?

Chivalry by definition refers to the qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women. Although it's a medieval system, it could be alive today if men were taught properly. Let's start with a gentleman, the one who walks in front of the ladies to open doors, the one who holds on to the lift doors, the one who allows the ladies to walk out before him and the one who gives you his jacket when you're shivering. But how many gentlemen today can truly be called a gentlemen? The chances that you've met a man who does all the above is indeed very rare. Come on, women have been seen to open doors all the time and even doing it for men! Sometimes we get slammed by doors because obviously the men are oblivious to the fact that there are some ladies behind them walking through that very same door. Men don't even open car doors for the ladies nowadays even on a first date!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that women are incapable of opening doors herself or paying for a meal on dates but there are just times where we wished men would be more gallantry. I'm a sucker for old-times romance where you're able to date a chivalrous man whom swept you off your feet.

I like it when a man opens doors. It was like the most courteous thing to do in the modern context of chivalry. Actually chivalry applies to being courteous to even strangers like helping a lady with her groceries or giving way on the road in regardless whether one is romantically interested in them or not. Don't you agree most men turned into monsters when they drive?

Unfortunately, chivalry is like a rare gem nowadays. As Patrick puts it, chivalry is "alive and hiding!" As much as a woman likes a man with chivalry, we are also unwilling to put down feminism. We wanted equality, we wanted a career and we wouldn't want to stay at home and look after the kids, we wanted the guys to respect us and we didn't want them to think that we are some damsel in distress.

I tried being a damsel but it just didn't work. Unfortunately acting isn't easy or rather pretending to be helpless and weak isn't exactly my forte. Looks like the days of Independent woman is here to stay but I'm all in for a healthy balance of feminism and chivalry.

I too believe that chivalry is not quite dead but it's rare.

Anyone can show me where I can find a chivalrous man?

What's that smell?

It's been quite a long time since I last wrote a Ponder Wonder post for Friday. Actually I might have ran out of topics to write about because I was very reserved about some of the relationship issues that I face. The fact that I know some of the people who knows me might be reading this makes it really difficult to write what my heart feels.

But anyways, let's not wonder into the affairs of my heart but there's something that lit my light bulb for a ponder wonder post. During my two previous jobs, I've to climb up stairs and since it's only a two-storey building, there are no lifts of course. With the new job, my office is located on the 13th floor, yeah the lucky 13th - hehe. And you know how it goes every morning, you wait to get into a lift, during lunch, you try to squeeze your way into one and when as you were inside packed like a can of sardines, and if you're not very tall, you might smell something unpleasant.

It can be as easy as body odour or just simply bad breath. Have you ever thought how it feels like to be that person with body odour or bad breath? I wonder does this people realise it themselves? From what I know, most of them don't. I don't think one can smell him or herself unless being told that he or she smells, right? Working with a previous company that has a fragrances and cosmetics arm, I'm quite obsessed and conscious about smelling good. And now with my sister marketing perfumes, we've got the whole house stuffed with bottles and bottles of them. The obsession was to smell good at all times!

And being a snob, I choose how I want to smell. I love perfumes because it's one of the greatest invention for everyone. You can now choose what you want to smell like! You can be musky, fruity or even flowery with the right fragrance. Although our body has a natural odour, I cannot deny that sometimes we need some smelling agent to help us combat some of the unwanted odour like sweat and especially you have to attend some functions after work and you can't have a shower.

I think it'll be something that I cannot live without or won't go out without a spray or two. The fastest and easiest way to smell fresh and good is of course the perfume! That is why I have one in my drawer at work, one small vial in my handbag and one cheap one for the car. It might sound a lot of work and hassle but it saves many noses!

That is why I couldn't understand that why those people with bad body odour wouldn't do anything to soften the impact of their killing odour? For guys, I'm sure they can have a deodorant in a car or in their drawer which they can use throughout the day. For bad breath, there's always Listerine and Chewing Gum right. Lucky we have no such bad breath cases in the office because we have free supplies of Wrigleys!

Nice picture huh?

I think the question is, are you aware of how you smell? Would you even tell a friend if he or she happens to smell bad? Would you love someone with a bad body odour?

What's your say?

I was reading the post "The Meaning of A Food Blogger" today at this website and it sparks a whole new discussion for me on the definition of a Food Blogger / Flogger. For conversation sake, how would one define a food blogger? For me, to be labeled as a food blogger, one has to be blogging about food most of the time or was it only exclusive to those whom always get the invites for food tastings and reviews.

And how different is a food blogger compared to someone whom write food reviews for a magazine or newspaper? I would say that there is a difference. A food blogger has no restrictions because it's his/her own blog, basically they can write whatever they want and there will be no one to screen through before hitting the "publish" button. However, for a mag/paper, one might have his/her article read through and edited before it is deemed appropriate to be published. Both have been invited for the free food tastings. So who should we trust?

Well, for me, I like to find out more about a restaurant through the internet because it's easy and convenient. However, there might be tonnes of reviews of the same place and how do I know whether the review is reflecting the honest scenario of a restaurant? Actually, I wouldn't know. Come on, taste is something subjective and it might be tasty to one and terrible to the other. Or the service might be good to one and the other whom have higher expectations would think it's crap. Therefore, I usually have a practice that I follow food blogs that I find suitable for myself. I've read the posts, went and try it on myself and find that the writing is consistent to what I experienced and the taste is almost similar and so I continue to follow them. That's the best way to trust a food blogger I should say.

I know many food bloggers out there get frequent free food reviews and they will never run out of restaurants to blog about but that does not mean that they are free loaders and crap floggers. I believe that they have a passion for food and they just love to share their experience in their blogs. I sometimes do get some free food too although I don't really run a food blog because this is more like my personal blog, I'll still be very frank with my reviews. The thing about inviting a food blogger to blog is that there shall not be an obligation to blog but most of the times, we'll be nice enough to write about it or just a mention about it (if it's bad and perhaps recommend only the good and skip the rest!).

There's no such thing as to whether accepting a free food review and blogging about it even though it's not good is ethical or not. Everyone has its own view and as readers, if we don't like it, then don't read it! Why should anyone take our personal reviews so seriously and started to insult one's blog? Why do they not write in and complain about the reviews in the papers/mag even though it's not as good as it seemed in the article?

I think everyone here is entitled to their own views and after all, getting a blogger to spread the word is by far cheaper than advertising on printed medias or trying to invite a celebrity food critic to do the review.

Don't you think so?

I LUST YOU

The most coveted words that you ever wanted to hear badly from your partner would be "I Love You". People quarrel because of these 3 words and they get upset because they didn't hear this 3 words. I think it's so overplayed that these 3 words don't mean much nowadays anymore to some. Sorry to be a spoilsport but most of the time, it's "I Lust You" in a relationship.

When the lust wears off, bye bye you go.

I've always been an opinionated person. I sometimes ponder on things that people don't usually give a thought about and therefore, when one thinks too much, things aren't going to be spontaneous. Probably the most spontaneous thing I ever did was passionately kissing someone I barely knew for hours? Most people would have been there, done that and it's no surprise that I had my fair share of I Lust You situations. Something prompted me to write this post today.

The one question that I was very interested to explore is that how would one know when it's love or lust? Personally I've gone through love, where you care about the person, you would want to see them being happy, and share the good and bad times together. I've gone through lust as well where I don't even know the person well but there was a strong attraction. It's a very thin line separating heaven and hell and so does love and lust. Where love is personified as white and lust is black, I don't deny that the gray area exists. I would want to think it did.

I went on and ask some of my guy friends on this topic and I get quite some interesting answers. The answers that I get is "you just wouldn't know" but I beg to differ because one could have at least knew whether lust or love dominates the relationship. How did the relationship started? Was it based on lust? Or was it through friendship that grew with time? I actually think that most relationships would have been started with lust or some form of lust because that's the pull that gets you going after the person. In simple terms, there must be some form of attraction.

But when will the lust wear off and will it eventually become true love?

My friend gave me this interesting answer - when the lust wears off, it'll be love if both wanted to be together and see themselves sharing and caring for each other. I think it's possible and I wouldn't doubt that it happens in most relationships that is built on lust. However, I have this interesting theory that you shall never fall in love with the person you lust or the person who lusts for you. Why you ask me? So that there will be no expectations and no one gets hurt. So no arguments and no broken hearts. The problem about love is that it has to be a two-way-traffic where one is willing to love and receive love. But with lust, it works well with any individual as long as there is a feeling of wanting something is there.

Lust is defined as a craving for sexual intimacy, sometimes to the point of assuming a self-indulgent character. It is also a desire for the flesh of another. Have you ever had that type of feeling where you wanted to be with that person so badly but you wouldn't see yourself having a long-term relationship with? The only way to win in a lust relationship is to not put any feeling into it.

But in the modern context, I could also lust for a Bugatti, a bottle of Domaine la Romanee Conti and a tall dark and handsome man but that doesn't mean I want to get into their pants. I think lust can be a wonderful feeling to have because it keeps you going and trying to achieve what you want. However, the negative side of lust could turn into a situation where the obsession is without possession which makes it very demotivating and depressing. My shortest lust was 3 days and the longest would probably be months. It's a very funny feeling because it makes one chase after the desire and once one attained it, it's no longer worth chasing again. That's lust for me.

So the next time someone says "I want to hear those 3 words", it could be I LUST YOU. So becareful what you're in for and find out whether it's going to be a 3-days-affair or somewhere between decades and eternity. I had enough of lusts. Where is the love?!!

[Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any guilt and breakups that resulted from reading this blog post. And I would be glad if the Parents Censorship Board do not censor my postings.]

Taking sides?

It's ok to be single. *repeat* It's ok to be single. *repeat till jaw muscles cramp* I think it's perfectly fine to be single afterall. When one is single, one keeps looking out to get into a relationship. But when one is attached, then one wonders how to get out of the relationship. Isn't this grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side syndrome is just so terrible?

Nowadays, women are so empowered that they realised that their value needn’t be defined by marriage. And every women I know whom is above 30 and is still single are living a fine life. I don't see them worrying about marriage although they might below that very confident mask. The only thing which I think it's a pity is that we maybe successful in our careers and social life yet we can't find success in a relationship.

I do know why I got myself into singlehood. There's a point of time when I think to myself and asked myself whether I would love to do things I want to do or doing things that I feel the other partner would accept. In the end, I took the liberty to venture into the unknown. I believe getting attached is like an enemy to individuality. The day that one gets together is the day both of them need to learn to compromise and understand each other. It's not an easy process but it's definitely a long one!

And I wouldn't say being single is all fun. There are times when you feel so lonely and no one is worrying about you. You've suddenly lost your permanent partner for movies, a pair of ears for your rantings, a bag carrier for your shopping trips, a driver for your outings, a pair of strong arms for hugs and a pair of lovely lips to kiss. These are all the drawbacks.

But the ultimate SINGLE vs ATTACHED statement is this:

Single: No one to tell me that I do not "need" another pair of new stilettos.
Attached: I could use his credit card and pay for the stilettos I wanted!

Therefore, I think it's all about striking a balance in life. One can still be individualistic and yet love being in a relationship. Having it both ways just isn’t astrophysics but it needs the understanding of both parties. Just like you wouldn't like the other partner to dislike what you like, then don't dislike what she likes. I know as singles we can party all we want and do all we like but eventually there's more to life than all these. I don't think I will be adopting celibacy because I want to get married by the time I hit 30!

But at this moment, I just feel quite comfortable in having my own space, doing things at my own pace and still be able to put on a bright face!

Unfortunately, Valentine's Day is coming and knowing that you will be bumping into every cuddly sweet lovebirds from high school to those grey-haired couples celebrating their love for the umpteenth time is just so demotivating. But lucky, this year Valentine's Day happened to fall on the first day of Chinese New Year and so it's not that bad afterall. I'll drown in my efforts of collecting ang pows that I won't even notice the lovebirds beside me kissing and the blue box that she is receiving!

At least I still have Mr. Cold Lips to smooch...

From caning to writing?

You must be kidding me. Apparently not.

The Star yesterday was featuring the news that Kartika goes from rotan to writing now. On July 20, last year, the court ordered her to be caned six times and fined RM5,000 after she was caught drinking at a hotel in Cherating on July 11, 2008. But the sentence wasn't carried out yet. Instead, she was just fined.

What was even surprising was that she was even offered a 14-day Umrah package (pilgrimage to Mecca) by a tour agency... and now she decides to repent and perform the pilgrimage to have a peace of mind. I'm sure the tour agency got lots of publicity and the returns is definitely worth more than the cost of the trip. And at the same time, she would be writing on her trials and tribulations of the whole case.

Now she has gone from being an offender to an author! How amazing! I actually did ponder about the standards of our Syariah Court. Does anyone gets off so easily from punishment once the news attain international media attention? Was it practicing a double-standard system where they are afraid to punish people with strong influences in the public/society? Was the postponement of punishment is to try saving some asses?

I am not saying that Kartika should be punished but what I'm trying to convey is that if they want to carry out the punishment, they have to be fair about it! I'm sure there were many whom were not supposed to drink are all drinking in public and this includes high profile people where their pictures have been taken and circulated in the internet and why they could get away easily?

Well, and there must be an opportunist that encourages her to write to take advantage of the whole situation while she's still in the limelight. Not sure whether the book would hit off well, but I'm kind of curious too in what goes into the book.

Sorry for the heavy post on Monday. It's still blue nonetheless.

Should I really bother?

Should we really bother what other think about ourselves? I think sometimes we do a lot of things to please others. It might not be what we want to, but automatically we did it because it was deemed appropriate to.

Personally, I think I did sometimes do what was seemed acceptable by social standards but not because I am sincere to do it. One good example is that, when someone approaches you for a donation on the streets or when you're eating, I would be kind enough to give away some money, even not knowing whether the charity from the particular organisation is genuine or not. In reality, if you think about it, you actually departed with the money because it seems that you are stingy if you don't donate or you might fear people staring at you for being such a miser.

Well, if you give it a thought carefully, charity should always start at home. Honestly, I have relatives whom are not doing so well and if I can spare some money for organisations that I don't even know, why don't I lend my helping hand to my own family members? If you don't have any family members in need of help, then it would be wise to donate to others but it'll be very silly of you if you help others (because of "face") and not your own family!

I realised that sometime ago and thus have stopped giving donations to any tom, dick & harry on the roads. It might seem a bit rude or heartless when you turn away those people aproaching you for donation but family do come first. But it's an exception to some cases where I see some child suffering from some disease or health complications in the newspaper whom needed help. I believe these are really genuine cases and they are really in need of help.

I believe a little goes a long way. It might be a small value, but to the one who receives it, it's not just the face value. It's a hope. A hope for the better. So I don't really bother anymore now when someone stares at me for not donating. Afterall, how many genuine charitable organisations out there are really into helping people and not to make some profit and exploit the children?

At this moment, I don't give a damn what one thinks of me as long as I know what I did was right and that I really want to do it. Because you're living your own life and not someone else. Can you?

Can you CHEAT and still love the person?

So, it's been quite sometime since did a Friday post. Well, as the title suggests, do you think it is possible to love a person and at the same time cheat on him/her?

Before I even begin with my lengthy explanation, I had a really good time yesterday at the food review with Huai Bin and the other food bloggers whom I have been reading their blog but have yet to meet them in person like Bangsar Babe and Cumi&Ciki. Will post about this later.

Anyways, back to the topic. Do you think it is possible for you to love your gf/wife but at the same time cheating on her? Let's define "cheating". To me, it can be either you're seeing another person or you're sleeping with another person. There's also a short term and long term cheating classification where a short term might be you cheating once or twice and long term would be you cheating with another person for a long time. To me, cheating a person long term means that you have already lost interest in her, so there's no love anymore. Thus, I'll prefer to discuss on the short term cheating scenario today.

In my opinion, love and sex can be entirely two different things. You might have sex with a person whom you do not love and thus cheating on the person you love. This is a pure physical attraction vs emotional attachment. It's a "chemical" process in us that when we see something attractive, our hormones tell us to go for it. And therefore, even if you're in love with a person, deep inside you, there's this little voice that encourages you to do something that you shouldn't. It has become a attraction vs affection. But having said that, you still love your partner. So, you might wonder, what's wrong with "cheating" if you still love your partner, right?

I will elaborate on this from different views:

Legally

It's entire legal to cheat on love. Maybe it's easier on your gf but not wife. Because the end result is that if you cheat on your wife and you get caught, a divorce follows and she will squeeze a big helluva amount of money from your bank account. So, you might not want to do that if you know that you'll be caught. I'm sure rich men/most men know better.

Morally

Morally, it's always wrong to cheat. Our society does not condone cheating and it's definitely not accepted in our ways of life because we cared too much what the society thinks of us! It's also in the common understanding that if you love someone, you do not want to hurt him/her. If you cheat on your partner, it automatically means you don't love her. That's what majority of the people thinks anyway.

Personally

This is entirely my own opinion. Like I said, love and sex is two different entities. I might be physically attracted to someone but that doesn't mean I love him. Love is a big word. You do not say you love a person if you're not emotionally and physically attached to him/her. Personally, I think people cheat because they find the thrills in cheating. It's fun if you don't get caught! If you know that you'll be caught doing this, then what's the point of cheating? It's just like if you love Cadbury chocolates so much and one day, someone offered you an Amedei and tells you that this is the best chocolate in the world, would you want to try it? You might take a bite and then after that you go back to eating Cadbury and life goes on. But of course, you can always switch to Amedei and dump Cadbury.

I am not saying that relationship is like food where we can eat anything and have no guilt but what I am trying to say is that sometimes "cheating" keeps the relationship sane. After being with a person for so many years, decades or perhaps centuries.... you might need a breathe of fresh air. But I believe if you have to cheat, cheat with wisdom and compassion. Don't forget the love that you have with your partner, treasure them and don't hurt their feelings.

So, personally, to be legally & morally correct and yet be happily attached in a relationship : My advice to you who cheats, getting caught with your pants down is the last thing you would ever want it to happen!

Ok, what do you think?

Can you handle the TRUTH?

Aren't you tired of reading and listening to every post/article on health in magazines, newspapers, billboards, radio and Tv telling you what you should do and shouldn't and what you should eat and not? Sometimes these articles are just so demoralising and it makes me think what am I doing in this world living a life like that?

Let me tell you, all is not lost because there's a doctor that tells you the truth! Finally, someone listened and answered my heart's calling.....

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.(Maybe I should add - more SEX?!!)

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products..

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! (I agree totally)

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? (err.... ;P)

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around (and with aphrodisiac - what more can you ask?!!) ! (Insert brand -FIDANI-)

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! (many would like this answer!)

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember.....

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'Woo Hoo, What a Ride!"

*Note: Take the advice at your own risk.

Single or Double?

I wanted to know that assuming that you're in your mid 20's today, if given a choice, would you like to remain single or would you want to be attached? Who wouldn't want to be attached if the right one comes along, right?

If you have been in a relationship, and then you're out, would you want to remain single for sometime before getting hooked again or you would grab every chance you have to be in a relationship? *bearing in mind that opportunity will never strike twice*

Who wouldn't want to be loved and have a sense of belonging by getting into a relationship? But a relationship comes with a lot of complications and emotional baggage besides the positive attributes like

....someone to talk to when you're down
....someone who's always there for you and you knew it
....someone who shares the happy and unhappy times

But the above could also be achieved if you have close and true friends. So why get into a relationship just because of the above factors? When I'm in a relationship, I wished to be single but when I'm single, I fear I wouldn't be able to get back into a relationship. I realised that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Making a decision to stay single or attached could be more difficult than the question of whether I would bungee jump or not?!! One is emotionally threatening and the other is a life threatening decision. It's a life question and I've always been a person whom have pre-regrets, anticipatory regrets and post-regrets.

At times I think why don't I just go ahead and do it and why the heck would I want to think so much? Like a friend said, treasure when you still have it and most importantly, you enjoyed the process and the outcome is not important. I can't. My mind functioned in a way that I think too much about almost everything. I am someone whom will list all the pros and cons and then only decide. I don't always do spontaneity - which is something I regret.

But I did something quite spontaneous in a way last week. I booked myself a trip to Melbourne and Sydney for 10 days for next month! There's 1 more month to go before I fly and I'm really excited. Yes, I'm going with me, myself and I. So that's four of us! I think I really need some time off alone.

I think I'm talking crap but anyways, I'm really into some listening today and why don't you share with me whether you're happy being single or attached? I needed inspiration. Badly.

Date from Hell

I thought the "date from hell" happens only in the movies.

Sadly, it wasn't. It was real! I've had such a terrible date that I think I will abstain from that for now until I've fully recovered from a traumatic experience. I think I should share with everyone my definition of a date from hell.

First of all, he wouldn't tell me where the restaurant is and kept on insisting he drives me there. He came in a freaking expensive car and took me to a glitzy hotel for dinner. But... we ended up eating at the coffee house! Lol....

1. He kept on blabbering about his cars. He has many expensive cars and is also thinking of getting a P*****e (sports car, go figure) and asked me if I would like to go choose the colour with him. Ask me if I cared. FAILED!

2. He kept going on and on about his attire which happens to be an expensive brand. He wore the same brand from head to toe. And if that's bad enough, he even told me he just bought a suit from the same brand for RM**** and how good he'll look in that suit. I almost PUKED!

3. He kept on telling me about his maturity, intelligence, attentiveness, wide network and all the shit when I've actually heard that almost for the tenth time inclusive of those through the telephone conversation. FAILED!

4. Then, he dictates what I should wear and what not! Who he thinks he is tell me that?!! And he wanted to take me go shopping for clothes. FAILED!

5. Then, he tell me that I should be his gf! Hellooooo, only 2 dinners and I be your gf?!! Are you dreaming or am I? HELL NO!

Ooohs... and he has been very impatient ie. at the jockeys, waiters and waitresses.

Actually, those were just the highlights of the evening. There's more to it than just some cheesy, almost-vomiting-lines that a 25 year old like me would never believed. Who's so naive to believe that there's love at first sight (is there even one?)? And funny, I was not even moved when he told me he wants to buy me a diamond. Sometimes I think these men need to be taught a lesson. Don't think money can solve all problems (although most of it can) and don't think you can always get what you want. There's no short cut in life.

I'm sure if a relationship is solely based on money, it will not last. Relationship is built on a foundation of love, trust and commitment.

My solution, I conclude that this man is no good for me. I stop picking up his calls and pretended to be sick the next day. I'm happy to know that my nightmare is over. I totally hate people who do not respect me.

The Ugly Truth for both men & women...

I've recently watched the movie "The Ugly Truth" and I find it rather entertaining. While it provides some of the basic knowledge and self-realisation to some women out there, I can't help but feel that this is one of those movie that spoils all the fun. You see, the art of seduction and also ways to get the man you want is supposed to be "less" known so that the same tactics are not over-utilised. Movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" and "The Ugly Truth" provided some of the mistakes that men/women make in relationships and now both men/women whom have watched it will know!

Therefore, it spoils the fun for those girls out there whom have been using those tactics to getting the men they want. Now, we have to move on to a totally different level as men are getting smarter and women are getting better!

However, I can't help but feel that the several points highlighted in the movie are actually very general and it's stereotyping. Not all men are the same although most men still think with their dickheads rather than the brain situated up north. They think about sex all the time while women tend to be more complicated when face with the same situation. It's like when a man sees an attractive woman, "I'm so gonna bed her" while a woman would think "Is he the one I want to marry or whether he likes kids?!!" While it may not be entirely true for all, generally it is.

There are also tonnes of "How to" and "Ways to" teaching girls/guys to get whoever they want but some are really crap and funny. I think ways like "displaying cleavage, legs, tossing hair, biting lips and sucking fingers (or other stuffs)" are funny but I don't deny that those action works (for most men). But have the writer thought about those whom are "inadequate" at the bosom department or even have short legs?!!

That's why I have to highlight that there's this
INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION that goes beyond
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

Most men like smart women (not nerds) and it goes much deeper, and is the kind of attraction that will make a man literally PINE AWAY for you when you're not around. Intelligence and the right intellectual skills attract men in a way that engages them in their mind and heart. It entices him to want a deeper level of involvement and intimacy with you. I always find men whom are equipped with intellectual intelligence better than some good looking men with six packs whom can't talk. And I believe an intellectual intercourse is just as satisfying as a sexual intercourse. Only much safer and could be conveniently done at any restaurants.

For Guys: I don't mean talking about your business or work achievements the whole night! How boring!

For Ladies: I don't mean talking on and on about your shopping adventures or who's humping who.

Generally, I think there should be a balance of topics from serious stuffs like politics (always a good conversation to start with), and something entertaining like interests or hobbies. While you may think talking is easy, try talking the whole night long! You might at some point in time find that you're lost for words. That's the time to adjourn to "your place or mine?!!" hehe... just kidding. If you're lost for words and he had nothing to say or talk about, and waits for you to ask questions, just dump him and move on la. He's just simply not intellectually attractive enough. That's the ugly truth!

In conclusion, while you can toss hair and display cleavage to get the guy you wanted, some other ladies can also toss more hair and display more cleavage to get your man. If your man falls for you on simple reasons like that, he can also fall for others on the same reasons.

That, my friends, is the UGLY TRUTH for today. Cheers.


(That should be more to this topic but I'm kinda lazy to write everything in one post). You can also read these past posts which is kinda related to this topic.
1. Be a Leggy Beauty
2. How do I wanna be Picked-Up Guide

And your answer would be?

What do you think this thing is?

There's a few possibilities....
(a) Dildo (b) Corkscrew (c) Kitchen towel holder

You see, Big E gave me this red thingy at a dinner on Tuesday and I asked the other friends at dinner what they think this is. (a) was my first answer and my only answer but the others said (b) and don't you think (c) could also be one of those answers? So, from the answer you can actually see whom is the most creative one! (obviously me no doubt)

And the correct answer is..... jeng, jeng, jeng....

A REAL CORKSCREW to unscrew the cork lah! Oh, how disappointing.

Ok, that's the story about corkscrew. (You know, as I was writing this, I kept on spelling "corkscrew" as "cockscrew" and the misspelled word was highlighted and brought to my attention. For a sudden I didn't know what mistake I made until I checked list of suggested words! Lol....)

The next story is actually about a very interesting gift that you are about to receive and I want to know your view on this because this happened to one of my friends and he wanted me to post this here and see what others would react to this "gift".

What would your reaction be if your boyfriend gave you a HSBC watch?

assuming that
a) it's on your birthday
b) the watch has a HSBC logo on it and on the box
c) he's definitely rich enough to buy a decent gift

My answer: I would give him two tight slaps! Firstly, how could he give me a free watch on my birthday. Secondly, it's not like he cannot afford to buy anything! Thirdly, it goes to see how much he values you by recycling the gift. However, I actually do not mind if it's not on my birthday or if he couldn't afford anything. Actually a gift is a gift from the heart and one should not complain but I just cannot take it if it's from my boyfriend or worse if he's actually in the process of trying to court me.

So, what happened to Mr.X was.... He gave this HSBC watch to a "China girl" and then when she saw the watch, she cried and he never heard from her ever again. Now, talk about being real! Welcome to the real world guys! In this real world, never be cheapskate when you have money.... A girl accepting just anything you give is not happening now in the 21st century (or at least I would believed so). Well, actually not all girls would give that kinda answer because we did asked many and most of them said that they will accept anything that their bf buys them. I wonder how true is that statement?!! Hmmm.... I really find it difficult to believe that.

That concludes the story for today. So, what is your answer dear ladies out there? At the same time, I would also like to know what would be the answer from guys if your gf gave you that watch? Time to spill the beans....