Sabtu, 02 Oktober 2010

Is Chivalry dead?

A princess is trapped in a tower by her evil stepmother. She cries for help by the window sill day and night. Then, one day, a handsome prince shining on a white horse rode to the tower where she was trapped and gallantly fought all the evil guards. He climbed up the tower, broke open the heavy steel locks, carried her in his arms and rescued her out of the evil place. He helped her onto the horse and whisked her away into the sunset.

Now, this is a fairytale. It was supposed to be like this once upon a time....


This is now...


But today, you might find the princess getting onto the horse herself, or probably fighting off the evil guards herself. Is chivalry dead or it's the rise of feminism?

Chivalry by definition refers to the qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women. Although it's a medieval system, it could be alive today if men were taught properly. Let's start with a gentleman, the one who walks in front of the ladies to open doors, the one who holds on to the lift doors, the one who allows the ladies to walk out before him and the one who gives you his jacket when you're shivering. But how many gentlemen today can truly be called a gentlemen? The chances that you've met a man who does all the above is indeed very rare. Come on, women have been seen to open doors all the time and even doing it for men! Sometimes we get slammed by doors because obviously the men are oblivious to the fact that there are some ladies behind them walking through that very same door. Men don't even open car doors for the ladies nowadays even on a first date!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that women are incapable of opening doors herself or paying for a meal on dates but there are just times where we wished men would be more gallantry. I'm a sucker for old-times romance where you're able to date a chivalrous man whom swept you off your feet.

I like it when a man opens doors. It was like the most courteous thing to do in the modern context of chivalry. Actually chivalry applies to being courteous to even strangers like helping a lady with her groceries or giving way on the road in regardless whether one is romantically interested in them or not. Don't you agree most men turned into monsters when they drive?

Unfortunately, chivalry is like a rare gem nowadays. As Patrick puts it, chivalry is "alive and hiding!" As much as a woman likes a man with chivalry, we are also unwilling to put down feminism. We wanted equality, we wanted a career and we wouldn't want to stay at home and look after the kids, we wanted the guys to respect us and we didn't want them to think that we are some damsel in distress.

I tried being a damsel but it just didn't work. Unfortunately acting isn't easy or rather pretending to be helpless and weak isn't exactly my forte. Looks like the days of Independent woman is here to stay but I'm all in for a healthy balance of feminism and chivalry.


I too believe that chivalry is not quite dead but it's rare.

Anyone can show me where I can find a chivalrous man?



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